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Helping Children Cope with Pet Loss

Writer's picture: Dr. Emma ClarkDr. Emma Clark

A child experiencing the grief of losing a pet.

Explaining the death of a beloved family pet to children can be an emotionally challenging experience. For many young ones, losing a pet may be their first encounter with the concept of death, making it all the more important for parents to provide guidance, support, and understanding. 


Pets are cherished family members and it’s crucial to help children navigate their grief in a healthy manner. This article aims to help parents and caregivers approach these difficult conversations, encourage constructive expressions of sadness, and ultimately support their children through the grieving process.


Introducing the Concept of Death to Children

Many adults feel unsure about how much detail to provide when discussing a pet’s death. It’s generally best to use clear, age-appropriate language and avoid euphemisms that could cause confusion. Younger children may struggle to understand phrases like “gone away” or “put to sleep,” which can lead to misunderstandings and ongoing anxiety.


Practical Tips

Be Honest and Simple

For very young children, a straightforward explanation—“[Pet’s Name] was very sick and has died, which means their body has stopped working and they cannot come back”—can be enough.


Use Real Words

Avoiding terms like “passed on” or “lost” helps your child grasp that the pet’s absence is permanent, though it should be delivered kindly and gently.


Encouraging Questions and Open Dialogue

Children may have questions about where their pet has gone or why their pet had to die. Encouraging them to ask these questions can help them process their feelings rather than bottling them up.


Be Patient and Reassuring

Acknowledge their sadness, fear, or confusion, and let them know it’s completely normal to feel upset.

Check for Understanding

After explaining, ask if they have any other questions, and reassure them that there are no “silly” questions.


Normalise Emotions

Encourage children to name the emotions they’re feeling. This can validate their experience and help them feel less alone in their grief.


Helping Children Express Their Feelings

Children may struggle to understand or articulate their emotions. Providing constructive outlets for their grief can make the bereavement process more manageable.


Encouraging children to draw pictures, create a scrapbook, or write a short story about their pet can help them express what they are feeling in a non-verbal way.


There are several UK children’s books that address pet loss and the concept of death sensitively. Reading these stories together offers a natural opportunity to talk about feelings and open up conversations.


You could also suggest planting a flower or tree in the garden, decorating a memory box with photos, or writing a goodbye letter. These tangible acts of remembrance help children understand that it’s okay to honour their pet and reflect on positive memories.


Offering Reassurance and Stability

When a pet dies, children may worry about other loved ones disappearing. Reassure them that the death of their pet does not mean that family members or friends will die soon.


Remind them that although the pet is gone, the child’s daily life and family routines remain stable. Explain that the decision (if relevant, in cases of euthanasia) was made to prevent their pet from feeling further pain. Emphasise that this was an act of love, reinforcing that care and kindness guide these difficult choices.


Seeking Support Outside the Home

If a child’s grief seems overwhelming or prolonged, professional support can make a difference. In the UK, there are various resources designed to help families through pet bereavement.


Blue Cross Pet Bereavement Support Service: 

Offering a confidential helpline and online support, this service can provide guidance on speaking to children about loss and finding additional coping strategies.


The Ralph Site

This UK-based website provides articles, personal stories, and resources related to pet bereavement. It also includes advice on supporting children through loss.


Child-Friendly Therapists and Counsellors

Some grief counsellors specialise in helping children understand death, whether related to pets or people. Your GP or local vet may be able to recommend counsellors familiar with these issues.


Considering the Right Time for a New Pet

Children may ask about getting another pet relatively soon. While it can be tempting to ease their sadness by finding a new companion animal, it’s often better to allow some time to grieve first. Explain that healing after a loss takes time, and that any new pet should be welcomed into the family when everyone feels ready—both emotionally and practically.


Helping children cope with pet loss is about more than easing immediate sadness; it’s an opportunity for them to learn about empathy, compassion, and the natural cycle of life. By guiding your child through this experience with honesty, patience, and reassurance, you lay the groundwork for emotional resilience and understanding in the face of future challenges.


Supporting your child through the loss of a pet involves honest explanations, open communication, creative expressions of grief, and access to trusted UK resources. As they learn to navigate these difficult emotions, children will also gain valuable emotional skills—ones that will serve them well throughout their lives.

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